"Nobody ever told you, but this is just how life is."

By Ni Ming

Matthew Perry, the celebrated American actor, passed away today at his home in New York. The 54-year-old actor was best known for his role as Chandler Bing in the classic sitcom Friends — a show that was far more than just a sitcom, but a shared memory for audiences worldwide. In it, Matthew Perry brought to life a character both endearing and unforgettable through his singular humor and deeply felt performance. Chandler's wit and self-deprecating humor, together with the show itself, left an indelible mark on global pop culture.

Nearly every Matthew Perry fan knows that, much like Chandler, he was born into a divorced family and spent his early years living with his mother in Canada. He was also a remarkably talented junior tennis player, racking up tournament wins. It wasn't until age 15, when he moved to the US to live with his father, that he began pursuing acting. His early attempts were largely unsuccessful; his most notable role from that period was probably a guest appearance on Growing Pains.

But everything changed when he joined the Friends cast. Chandler's vivid persona immediately captured audiences' attention. Given the overlap between actor and character, and what the show's creators have revealed, it's fair to say that Matthew Perry imbued the role with its soul, co-creating it with the writers.

The average American might be surprised by the breadth of mourning for Matthew Perry across China's public and private spaces today. This outpouring exceeds what his star power as a Friends actor alone would suggest.

But it makes complete sense. When Friends reached China in the 2000s, the country was on the verge of joining the WTO, the internet was beginning to spread, and Chinese people were encountering the Western world en masse for the first time. In retrospect, China stood at the launching point of a tremendous ascent — "everything was only going to get better." Friends' first Chinese viewers were university students around 2000. The typical introduction came through English-learning forums, where someone would mention "an American TV show that's pretty funny, and you can learn English from it too." You'd download the episodes from campus network servers (my apologies to NBC, the copyright holder), watch them on battered dorm room computers with crude subtitles, and quickly forget your original purpose of learning English — instead becoming utterly absorbed in the world the show depicted.

The real learning happens when you're not trying. Without consciously studying, you'd still be effortlessly quoting lines more than a decade later. A comedy equally brilliant, with an equally brilliant ensemble cast, debuting in a different era could never have shaped a generation across the ocean so profoundly.

Everyone, growing up, imitates one or several charismatic figures within their reach. Almost no personality forms in isolation. Western men's personalities tend to come from fathers, from older brothers. Mine came from American TV shows. Around university, I watched Friends repeatedly. The sitcom had an enormous influence on my worldview, and its characters more or less became woven into my personality. But the one who influenced me most was unquestionably Matthew Perry's character —

He worked in "statistical analysis and data reconfiguration," which was essentially an exact description of the paperwork portion of my finance job;

We were both socially insecure, to the point where we'd feel awkward unless we managed to crack a joke that made the other person laugh;

We both had thin, sensitive hearts, using sarcasm and mockery to avoid direct confrontation whenever possible.

I'm hardly unique. Many friends have told me that when watching Friends, we might initially project ourselves onto Ross or Joey, but gradually, we all started projecting onto Chandler. The projection ran so deep that countless times, without even noticing, the Chandler inside us would sneak out — like during a conference call discussing commercial terms, when the other side proposed an unreasonable clause, and I'd hit mute and say to the lawyer beside me, "And I just want a million dollars!" (from Season 1, Episode 1).

Meeting a long-lost friend who complained I'd gained weight, I'd joke self-deprecatingly that as a celebrity, I had many paparazzi on me: "Camera adds 10 pounds and there are many cameras on me."

And the one I use most — "xxx is my middle name," where xxx can be any trait I want to emphasize in that moment.

Whenever someone recognizes that I'm channeling Chandler, I'm delighted. In business settings, encountering one or two counterparts who know and can quote Friends lines makes cooperation that much smoother. If someone compliments me by saying I'm actually a bit like Chandler in real life, I take it as enormous praise.

With Matthew's passing, I feel as though I've lost a mentor from my youth. I've changed my WeChat signature today: Chandler Bing inside.

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This piece comes from Ni Ming, a reader of Dark Currents (暗涌) and "a Central financial district practitioner" with over a decade of experience in asset management and structured finance, previously employed at a domestic internet company. He is currently COO of Metalpha Technology Holding Limited (Nasdaq: MATH), a crypto asset wealth management firm.

Image source | Friends stills

Layout | Guo Yunxiao

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