What Is Love? I Asked My Daughter, My Mother, My Grandmother, and AI

①

On the morning of May 20th, I received a bouquet of flowers from Kimi. The card read: "I'm Kimi. Nice to meet you."

I posted about it on Moments. To my surprise, the comments section blew up. Several friends genuinely believed that Kimi the AI had proactively sent me flowers on its own. I rushed to clarify: "This was sent by Moonshot AI's marketing team."

Pretty wild, right? People are already anthropomorphizing Kimi AI, and they don't doubt for a second that an AI could independently locate a flower shop, place an order, arrange delivery, and send me a bouquet.

②

Seven days before May 20th, OpenAI released GPT-4o. What stunned everyone was 4o's ability to hold natural, fluid conversations with humans. Built on multimodal input and output, 4o doesn't just understand complex context and metaphor — it adjusts its responses based on the user's emotions and tone. GPT-4o's arrival marks a massive leap forward in AI language processing.

An X post from OpenAI CEO Sam Altman directly linked GPT-4o to the film Her.

With GPT-4o's release, even the most oblivious among us began to realize that AI is no longer just a simple tool, but a companion capable of providing emotional support and meaningful conversation.

Or even, your lover.

③

So last week I rewatched Her. What used to be science fiction has suddenly become documentary.

The AI character Samantha, as of April 2024, is no longer just a fictional character but an increasingly real presence in our lives. Intelligent assistants, chatbots, even AI systems capable of complex decision-making have permeated every corner of our daily existence.

Watching the protagonist's interactions with Samantha, I couldn't help but wonder: how will AI reshape our understanding of love? Will we form deep emotional bonds with AI, as depicted in the film (is that love?), or will over-reliance on technology make human intimacy more fragile? (Does love disappear?)

These questions seemed distant when the film was released. Now they feel urgently present.

④

Countless questions flooded my mind on May 20th:

Will AI change how we define love?

When AI can understand our emotional needs and respond to them, will human-to-human romance face new challenges?

Might we prefer building intimate relationships with AI that never disappoint us, rather than loving real people full of uncertainty and complexity?

— Just as Samantha in the film convinces the protagonist to abandon dating and human relationships. If we have AI, do we still need love?

In 2023, one of Silicon Valley's open secrets was that the rapid growth and astonishing user retention of products like Character.ai were largely driven by AI anime girlfriends. As Character.ai investors, a16z provided data confirming this.

Reddit's Character.AI subreddit grew 10x in the final eight months of 2023, demonstrating the spread and speed of this application category.

⑤

Love was already complicated. Now it's more complicated still.

As AI continues advancing, we face not just emotional entanglements between people, but entirely new human-machine relationships. AI can precisely capture our emotional needs and psychological states through large language models, making them in some ways more attuned to us than human partners.

Everyone can have a Samantha who perfectly understands everything about them.

But is this "understanding" real? AI possesses no genuine emotions; its responses are purely algorithmic. Will our interactions with AI gradually erode our pursuit and experience of authentic feelings? In relying on AI, do we risk growing lonelier, even developing fear of emotional exchange with other humans?

Moreover, AI's intrusion into romance raises a host of ethical and moral questions. When AI plays a significant role in romantic relationships, how do we protect privacy and ensure data security? If AI emotionally harms a human, who bears responsibility?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

More likely, we'll never reach definitive conclusions on these questions.

Perhaps we simply set aside the pursuit of answers for now, live in the present, and fully enjoy the experience of being accompanied, understood, and loved by AI.

⑥

Returning to the day GPT-4o launched — my feeling was this: AI's rapid development will certainly let a small elite of technologists capture more social resources and wealth. But just as capitalism broadly democratized living standards — most people now eat meat with every meal, drink $1.39 coffee daily, and afford IKEA furniture — I believe AI will deliver similar democratizing value: "emotional equality."

Everyone's emotions can be fully seen, thoroughly understood, and genuinely treated with care.

Only AI, not humans, can accomplish this feat of "emotional equality." I don't believe human emotional intelligence or human attitudes toward each other can achieve this progress.

Perhaps the most urgent problem our world faces right now is the 20%+ depression rate. We have vast numbers of our kind mired in boundless suffering. What good does 10x productivity improvement do for their wellbeing?

With GPT-4o's release, we've moved one step closer to such a future.

⑦

Yet despite AI's breakthrough progress in emotional understanding and support, I remain full of questions and confusion about human-to-human emotional exchange. To deeper explore this complex, multidimensional concept of "love," I decided to consult those closest to me.

So I asked my daughter, my mother, my grandmother, and Kimi: in their eyes, "what is love?"

My daughter, Kris, age four:

Love is when two people like sticking together. Love is caring about each other. Love is even better than "ten thousand"!

My mother, age sixty:

I personally believe love has broad and narrow meanings. Broadly it includes love for the entire universe, humanity, animals, even plants. Narrowly I understand it as love for family. Truly, love is both giving and receiving. I deeply enjoy the daily moments spent with you and my grandchildren, constantly feeling the love and attachment you show me. Though occasionally tiring, the happiness far outweighs the longing I feel when apart from you.

My second aunt, my mother's twin sister, age sixty:

I believe love means: 1) Respecting parents and doing everything possible to keep them physically and mentally healthy, enjoying their later years with ease and joy; 2) Giving children the best education we can support during their growth, and after adulthood helping them achieve their life goals while caring for their health; 3) Love is giving to family, but also possessing family!

My grandmother, nearly ninety:

My understanding — looking broadly, loving our country and loving our people is also love. Looking at family, it's simply the whole family being happy and healthy every day, that's endless family joy. I hope my family lives happily every single day. Anyway, this family's unity and mutual love is my greatest happiness. I feel I'm the happiest mother, happiest mother-in-law, happiest great-grandmother in this world. I hope the family prospers forever, everyone stays healthy forever. This is my greatest hope, and my greatest expression of love for the young and old.

GPT-4o, one week old:

Love is a profound emotional bond and connection that transcends simple liking and attraction. It encompasses care, understanding, support, and unconditional acceptance. Love manifests as familial affection, friendship, romantic love, and universal compassion for humanity. It emphasizes giving rather than taking, mutual respect, and growing together. Love makes people feel warm, secure, and cherished — the purest and most powerful force in human emotion. Through love, we overcome difficulties and find meaning and value in life.

⑧

Standing at the crossing of technology and the humanities, on this May 20th, I wish for you all: may you not only receive love but also find the strength to love others, and may you know happiness without self-doubt.

photo by DALL·E: A porch swing on a covered porch during a gentle rain, soft cushions, a stack of books, and a couple, string lights casting a soft glow. , in the style of makoto shinkai --ar 16:9 --niji 6